Something that made me laugh

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Salar de Uyuni (Boliva)

This is a true story

Day 1

We woke at 6:30 as our bus was supposed to leave at 8am.It left at about 9. We had Rossi down to wave us off and the poor little blighter even ran after the bus for a bit. We drove for about 3 minutes and then had to stop at the Chillian boarder. That took about an hour. Back on the bus again for another hour untill we reached the Bolivian Customs, which is where we waited another 2 hours for our 4X4 to turn up. The one we got didn´t look as good as the other ones around but as long as it got us from A to B. Myself and Ing got seperated from Paul and have to share the next 3 days with 2 French people and 2 Spanish.
They are 2 couples well into their 40´s and don´t speak English. We set off and hadn´t gone more than 20km when the axle of the car fell off. We were stood on the side of the road for ages while they tried to fix it. I knew they wouldn´t be able to but couldn´t speak Spanish to tell the driver so.
We piled into another 4X4 but had to stop a few times to put water in the engine as it kept over heating.
We stoped at some geysers which were pretty cool and some thermal springs, but I couldn´t get into them as my bag was still on the first 4X4 with my towel in it.

We are staying in an old army camp tonight and it is bloddy freezing. I have 2 pairs or trousers, 3 pairs of socks, 2 tee shirts, 2 jumpers, a jacket, 2 hats and a pair of gloves on and I am still numb.

I went outside and saw 3 shooting stars. I made 3 wishes.
1. That it was warmer
2. That we got a better 4X4 tomorrow
3. That the people we were with spoke English and were 20 years younger.
It´s going to be a long night

Day 2
None of my wishes came true. We had breakfast and headed off to see The Pink Lagoon, which we were ment to see yesterday but were running too late.That took about 20 minutes and then we had to stop at the enterance to the national park. Our new driver, Louise, opened the hood of the car and found a hole the size of a tennis ball in the radiator. No wonder it was over heating yesterday.Once again my Spanish failed me in being able to tell him it was stuffed. We drove back to the Army camp where we spent over 2 hours trying to get the radiator welded. At about 12 we started off again from the same place we should have left at 8am. We did have a problem free hour untill we ran out of petrol. Well it wasn´t so much of running out of the stuff, as loosing it. The screw at the bottom of the petrol tank had fallen out, hench all the petrol with it. After Louise had stuffed the hole with a bit of plastic, we had to stop 8 different 4X4´s and sifel 5 litres of fuel off each of them. We had a spot of lunch on the side of the road and started heading towards the Salt Hotel. The Hotel is made entirely of guess what... salt. The chairs, tables, beds, everything and we had purposly booked with this tour company as it is one of only 2 that allow you to spend the night at the hotel.

It was all looking good untill the engine blew up. The hole was back in the radiator, there was no petrol in the tank and somehow the battery was dead. At this stage it was getting pretty dark and we were 8km from a tiny town called Manila, so it was decided that Louise, the French chap, and myself would walk to the town for some help.It only took us an hour and a half but it was well below zero degrees out. The place only has about 15 houses in the town but one of them turned out to be a "sort" of hostel. Not exactly the Salt Hotel, but a bed none the less. Louise went back with another car to tow the remains of our 4X4 and the 4 people still in it, back to us.
Once again I looked for shooting stars but it was too cloudy.

Day 3
Miricals do happen. A 4X4 turned up for us just after 9am. We loaded up with all our bags and Louise, but left the clapped out car behind. It was by far the best day of the trip and we even stopped off at the place we were ment to have stayed the previous night to have a look at it. The Salt Plains are pretty spectacular and take hours to cross.



In the middle of it all we stopped at Isla del Pescado, which is a large island full of cactus, which was mad and then headed towards our final destination which was Uyuni.
We nearly made it. We could see the town. But the jynx that has followed us since the start of the trip struck once again. It turns out we had once again ran out of fuel but when the new driver got out of the car it worked out that we also had a flat tyre. Louise changed the tyre while Mr. New Driver got a lift into town to get some petrol. The trip cost us US$90 each and it took me an hour to get US$30 back. Not bad for no Spanish.
We met up with Paul again and the 3 of us decided to get out of Uyuni as quick as possible, but in trying to book our bus tickets to Sucre, we were told that the 7pm bus was full and the next one wasn´t untill the same time tomorrow. The town was an absolute dump and none of us wanted to hang around even for the night.I jokingly ask a cab driver how much it would cost us to get to Sucre and he told us US$8 each. The bus was going to cost $7 and would take 11 hours. He said he could do it in 7.
It´s a deal. It´s a steal. It´s sale of the century.
If we had got the bus at night we would have missed some of the most spectacular, beautiful and amazing scenery that this world has to offer, and we got it all in the comfort of a cab (on dirt roads worse than three 4X4´s had clapped up on us) and eating the drivers coco leaves.
I think when I return to Sydney and have to get a cab from Surry Hills to Edgecliff and the cabbie asks me for $15, I am going to smack him.

Rossi

While in San Pedro there was a dog that hung around the hostel we were staying in called Rossi (that's the dog's name not the hostel.. the hostel was called Florida).
Everone used to give her scraps of food and stuff and aparently her owner had just left her in the town. The night we got back from Sandboarding Rossi was outside the hostel foaming at the mouth and not being able to stand. The owners of the hoslel were there but doing nothing and after asking them what was wrong they told me that she had probably ate poision and had about an hour to live. Seeing as no one else cared I wrapped her up in my blanket and Paul and myself set off looking for a vet. We did find one but it was closed so we just brought her back to the hostel where Ing tried to give her some water and left her wrapped to hopefully sleep. The next morning when I open my bedroom door Rossi was there jumping up at me.. For the next two nights, I let her sleep in the spare bed in our room, and fed her pizza. When we had to leave for the Salt Plains, she followed myself, Ing and Paul down to the bus where she waved us off. I'm sure someone else is looking after her now.

San Pedro

On the bus trip into town we hooked up with two Irish lads who were travelling seperatly. Denis and Paul were both hanging around San Pedro for a while so what better way can Irish people spend time, but to talk about all things Irish.
Pete, you would have been in your prime...

The next night myself and Paul were out for a drink when we bumped into two Irish girls, Vanessa and Audrey, so for the following two days there were 5 Irish and Ing hanging out together.. I'm sure she loved it.



The town is a classic looking western style place, with loads of little tours to do. We did the sunset in Moon Valley one evening, which involved cycling 16km to a sand dune, watching the sun set and then cycling 16km back in the dark down some gravel road.



The next day it was back on the bikes again to do a spot of sand boarding, which I wasn't very good at but to be fair I only had one go at it as I couldn't be asked walking up the mountain of sand again..

The others wern't too bad and Audrey got top marks for commin' down faster that most of the pros there and crashing halfway down.

Santiago Bus Station

We flew in from Puerto Montt to Santiago where we were going to stop of for a couple of days. Unfortunatly the night before on the news we saw all these students going crazy and ripping the town apart. From what I could make out there was lots of water canons and tear gas in use... The joint dissision was made with "Herself" to just keep going. We headed straight for the bus station to buy some tickets when in front of us in the queue we bumped into Graeme and Prew. Graeme is a mate of "Irish" Mick's , back in Sydney and neither of us knew the other was in South America. They had just arrived the previous day (I checked their eyes for any sign of tear gas damage, but there was none) and were booking their tickets to go skiing a day later.

Our bus was not due untill 7pm so the two of them kindly offered to hang around for a breakfast beer. During the course of the day we were joined by an American ex-Nam vet called Mike. Mike was 65, had no idea where he was going to end up, and loved his "smoke", as that is what he talked about for 5 hours. Mike is not as quick as he used to be which is why he carries a can of mace around in his pocket. I suggested he stay in Santiago with all the students. We all parted company at around 6pm and I said a little prayer that the toilets on the bus would be working. I slept for the first 5 hours of the 22 hour journey but then woke up with a blinding hangover.

Peurto Montt

I never thought I´d find a place that rains more than Ireland (or Manchester), but welcome to Peurto Montt. We were there for 3 days and it didn´t stop for more than 10 minutes at any one stage. I have been told that it is pretty much like this all year round. Something the Lonely Planet forgot to mention.
We met up with Evan (from the Navimag, oh I shiver ever time I say it) for a beer in a place called Sherlock. The place was so named because "apparently" Sherlock Holmes visited the town once ?????? Hopefully if I ever return to the town (which I sincerly doubt) there will be a bar called "Deco" open.

I had a Kunstmann to drink. I just had to.


I also saw a ute drive past my hostel window and thought how proud Paddy would have been.

The Navimag

We have just got off a four day ferry trip on The Navimag from Peurto Natales to Peurto Montt. It was meant to be a trip with outstanding views of glaciers and the mountain ranges of Chile..We found out as we were getting off the ship that we had just experienced the worst weather in the area for 5 years. The ferry can hold several hundred people and I am sure is a joy to be on in the summer months. It recommends that you bring your own alcohol on board so as usual I over stocked.
I decided to keep a Karl Pilkington style diary while on board to try and keep myself from going mad or getting sick.



Night 1
Started on my whiskey while waiting to board the ferry. I asked the girl at the counter how many people were booked on for the trip. She said 12. I told Ing that I hope at least 1 other, apart from the 2 of us, spoke English. I think the world is small enough now for a universal language. I´d pick English because I can´t be asked learning a new one. It got me to thinking if dogs spoke in different languages...
We found a guy called Evan from Killdare in Ireland.. 3 English speakers..

Got on the boat at 9pm but were not due to set sail untill 6am the next morning. Watched Motorcycle Diaries and drank a half bottle of whiskey. Ing went to bed.
The room we have has 2 sets of bunk beds but we are the only ones in it. I´m not surprised with only 12 people around. Ing took the bottom and I went on top after rearranging it with 2 sets of pillows and blankets.


Day 1
Ing´s alarm went off at 7.45 for breakfast. She asked if I wanted to stay in bed. I told her to come back if it was bacon and eggs, but if it was bread and coffee again, not to bother. She asked how I fell out of the bunk bed last night. I can´t remember.

Ing came back 15 minutes later and told me it was watery eggs and a slice of ham so I got up. The only other times I left my cabin for the day was for lunch and dinner. I did try to go to the common area at one stage but was asked to leave as the staff were watching a video on health and safety. Spent the day reading Dan Browns Digital Fortress in bed. I don´t think I have ever read a 500 page book in one day before.

There are hundreds of cattle in trucks on the cargo deck area. They get sent up north to get fattened during the winter as there is too much snow down south. In summer they ship them back to be slaughtered. If only they knew.



Day 2
Got up for breakfast again at 8am. I noticed one of the workers has his arm in a cast this morning. He mustn´t have been paying attention during the video yesterday.
At noon it was anounced that anyone who suffers from motion sickness should take a tablet. Ing asked if we needed them. I told her that I had travelled enough on the Sealink boat from Dun Laoire to Holyhead and had never been sick. She said she was on a boat once too and was ok. How bad could it get?

Maria, the tour guide told everyone a few simple rules during the rough seas, like no running, always hold the hand rails and if you do feel sick, it helps to lie in the fetus position.
Went back to the cabin to start Anne Tylers, The Accidental Tourist, which Evan had given me.
From 5pm untill 2am I was in the fetus position. Ing asked if cows suffered from sea sickness too. I said I didn´t know.



Day 3
Didn´t get up for breakfast today. Ing did but said not a lot of people were there. Works out nearly everybody except from us two threw up at some stage.
Stayed in the common area most of the day. The seas started getting rough again but it didn´t seem as bad as last night. I went up to the bridge to have a nose around.

The captain spoke to me for about 5 minutes about the different instruments and stuff. I hadn´t got the heart to explain that I didn´t speak Spanish so I just said Si every now and then.
We were due to hit some ¨straight¨ at about 8pm which is one of the worst parts of water in the area. It takes about 7 hours to cross, and there was me thinking it was bad enough the way it was. The waves were already at about 6 meters high. At about 6pm it was decided that it was too rough to go into the straight so we would sit it out for an hour or two.
During dinner I helped the bloke with the broken arm to get his tray of food to his table. Everyone else was just looking at him, wondering how he was going to manage it.

Last night was like lying in a hammock compared to what was ahead. Sealink would never sail in this shit. The waves were 12 meters high and hitting every 5 seconds. The worst bit was they were coming in from all angles so you didn´t know what way to hold on. Ing said she was a bit scared but I told her it was normal and that the crew knew what they were doing.
The calves were shitting it. You could smell it in the cabin.



Day 4
We get off the boat today. Can´t belive we paid money to be put through this. The view was nice the 4 or 5 times that I looked out at it. We were supposed to get in at 7am but what with the bad seas it looks like we will be on board well after noon. It is only 8.30 now and I´m packed and ready to go.

Moreno Glacier - Argentina

After leaving Iguassu Falls, we found it impossible to catch any flights down south to see one of the main things that I had wanted to come to this side of the planet for. Everything was booked up for over a week, which didn`t suit our follow on travel plans..

Plan B..... Back on the buses again. This was the worst one so far and we had to travel for over 3 days to get down to Patagonia...



It was worth every second of it... The Moreno Glacier is about 70m tall at the point that we could see but in the middle is about 800m high. The middle being 13km back.


I have never seen anything like it, and doubt that I will again.


We went out on a boat to get a closer look and on it, they served whiskey with ice from the glacier.. Needed it also as it was about -10degrees.

Bus Journeys

This blog wouldn´t be complete without my post on the time spent on buses and bus stations so far for this trip... We have honestly spent more time on/in them than not. We have been squashed, been waiter served champers, bored shitless, laughed, killed each other, nearly got mugged, played games (backgammon, which Ing is winning 9-5)enjoyed the sights and counted down the minutes.... Here are a few photos of what we have experienced from them.

One Of The Many Stations...


Ing Trying To Buy A Ticket to Somewhere


Argentina By Day


Argentina By Night


Backgammon

Iguassu Falls

Well we eventually made it to Iguassu Falls and what Viv had told us about 2 months ago was correct.. "How you say....? Very small water Dec...No rain !" The postcards look nothing like what we saw... Where there was ment to be miles of falls, we got a couple of meters...

Don´t get me wrong.. The places where there was water coming down the side was amazing but the two days that we were there, we kept thinking how much better it would have been with more of the wet stuff..

The main waterfall was still running and we saw it from both the Argentina and Brazil side.... It was still worth the hastle of bus journeys and bus stations, but it is somewhere I feel I will have to return to in years to come to appriciate it´s full glory.

I´m sure Gav and Caz will be shocked at the lack of water seeing as they were both there a few years ago..